This year I have “resolved” not to make resolutions. Sounds like a big and fanciful statement full of inner-thought and wisdom. Kind of ironical also, right? But it isn’t all that. It isn’t all about self-realization or inner peace or anything like that. This isn’t me trying to achieve nirvana. This is all about self-preservation, and happiness. Let’s put it this way—social media is agog with various harmonious videos about the secret behind successful people. Apparently, the one thing that makes them different from the rest of the mere mortals is that when they wake up in the morning, they make their bed. The first time I watched this video, I did so with a sarcastic eyebrow nearly disappearing into my hairline.
Making the bed, eh? That simple to be successful, is it? But it isn’t something to be taken lightly. Making the bed isn’t what makes their day. It’s the feeling of positivity that floods them with the can-do spirit after they have achieved the first goal of the day: making their bed minus any excuses or days off!
They made a fixed goal to make their beds come hell or high water, and they did so—and this feeling of having achieved something can gear you up to face even the worst moments of your life better. Because it’s not as if making their beds made all their problems go away. It’s because making their beds made them mentally stronger. So this year, I’m taking this little thought several steps further and so I refuse, for my own self-preservation and mental balance, to make big and bold statements about how my next year shall be shaped. Even if I could and can fulfill my resolutions. Here are my ten bits worth...
10 Reasons For Not Making New Year Resolutions
1. The Only Constant About Life Is Change
Honestly, life can go from one big high to one crashing low in the blink of an eye. Happily, it can also swing from one low to one gorgeous high, equally quickly. So you see my point. When life changes so much, how can a resolution or two stand in its way? If life changes, so do resolutions. And if they have to change, why make them in the first place?
2. I & My Needs Keep Changing Too
I may want one thing today, but I may decide on something else entirely. I do not know what I would want or need or even be like tomorrow. I definitely do not know if what I plan today will be right for me in the coming days. So, again, why make resolutions? Why shouldn't I just work on myself, little by little?
3. My Resolutions May Not Be True To Heart
Ever since the birth of my second child, I have been gaining weight. I’m not in the obese category, but neither am I in the I’m-so-happy-with-the-way-I-look category. My grandma would call me well-fed. I beg to differ. And for the past five years, I have been making very strong resolutions about losing weight. They haven’t worked. Why? Because perhaps, while my need to lose weight was true, it wasn’t the right time. Or maybe because I was so busy raising my kids and being a work-at-home mom that losing weight wasn’t so much a priority with me. Maybe, my resolutions weren’t working because they weren’t truly coming from my heart—and that’s one big fail right there.
4. I Was Conforming To Norms With My Resolutions
Why did I want to lose weight? To look good, sure. And also to be healthy. But somewhere, majorly, I also wanted to lose weight to look good, for others. That was me, silly me, trying to toe the line of women’s beauty so set by society. And that was also possibly why I never tried hard enough. I may not be a very aggressive person, but even if I were a pacifist, there is still enough of a rebel in me. Basically, if I didn’t want to do that, I shouldn’t have. So now, I won’t. Or rather, I'll do it the right way, minus any resolution pressure.
5. My Resolutions Were Often Baggage From The Past Year
Other than one or two changes, my resolutions were often laggards from the past year. Like losing weight has been on my list forever now, but being healthy not so much. I have been planning to learn the guitar since eternity, but no such luck. Wanting to write a book but not enough time. You see my point here…resolutions give rise to buts. And failed resolutions stick to you like glue; it’s amazingly hard to shake them off. This year, I start with a clean slate.
6. Resolutions Are Often Expectations Of Others
My father wanted me to be a strong, independent girl—no harm there—and so in went my resolution of “mastering the martial arts.” I did learn some mean moves, but I am nowhere near a master. My mother wanted me to lose weight, my friends wanted me to be more pleasant, and my bosses wanted me to be more productive…See the pattern there? My resolutions stopped being mine a long, long time back. They became what people expected of and from me. Ergo, the resolutions never ever came through—because we cannot live to please others, period.
7. Resolutions Have Become A Social Media Nightmare
Wake up and log onto Facebook or Instagram, especially around New Year. What do you see? Scores of pretty people making pretty resolutions that seem to be coming through for them. What happens to us, the ones with unresolved promises? We slip deep into depression and reach out for all that gives us comfort—the very thing we were trying to fight against. Us: 0, World: 100. Not a pleasant way to start off the New Year at all.
8. A Failed Resolution Makes Me Feel Like A Failure
Everybody has a different nature and a different way of handling things. I can take setbacks and knocks well, but my personal failures make me beat myself up a lot. No one can make me feel any worse than I can make myself feel. I excel in the art of self-berating. So when I fail to come through for myself, I feel like a failure. And that brings out the ugliest in me.
9. This Upsets My Mental Balance, & My Life
If I feel like a failure, it brings out the ugly in me, and you would not want to meet me. Imagine how tough it could be living with me then? I am not depressed but I am prone to anxiety and an anxious me is not a good me. Why do I put myself through unnecessary torture, promising myself the moon, and that too to conform to societal norms or fulfill another’s expectation? Sounds silly when put that way, and it is. This is why: no resolution for me, period.
10. A New Year Has To Be New & Different & Positive
Finally, why stick to the same old every New Year? What’s new about it then? The first day of a new dawn should not be fraught with broken promises and unfulfilled resolutions. It has to be about happiness and positivity and all things exciting. You have to look forward to it, not make excuses about it.
So those are my reasons. The idea is to simply welcome each day with a big smile, start your morning positive and be happier on the whole. That is the bed I need to make. The rest shall fall into place by itself. The more positive energy you create, the more positive energy you attract. And even if you stumble on a few roadblocks, the smile on your face and in your heart will give you the strength to carry on.
Strangely enough, not making resolutions might just prove to be the biggest resolution for me. And perhaps for you too. But this is my story; you may want to write yours differently by reframing your resolutions. So here’s to happier beginnings and a New Year that’s as new as new can be.
Do let us have your resolution stories too by writing to us in the comments section below...Cheers to a new New Year!